Helen

Mastodon @hlseward@mstdn.social

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Make a deal with Helen

🔒 Paid proposals held safely in escrow — released only when the work's approved.

Followers

1.5K

Account age

2 yrs

Known for

Following the recent heated discussion re: Marmite, I saw this today. I'd seen pictures, but look, it really exists and half price no less. I wonder why that might be. Reader: I did not buy it. I wouldn't even know what to do with it. They suggest over ice cream, or churros. Or popcorn or savoury veg?? But, even as a superfan, I couldn't bring myself to buy. I might regret that: I doubt they're ma

15 views Following the recent heated discussion re: Marmite, I saw this today. I'd seen pictures, but look, it really exists and half price no less. I wonder why that might be. Reader: I did not buy it. I wouldn't even know what to do with it. They suggest over ice cream, or churros. Or popcorn or savoury veg?? But, even as a superfan, I couldn't bring myself to buy. I might regret that: I doubt they're ma

📊 Post engagement

17

Avg engagement / post

1.2%

Engagement vs followers

Sep 2023

On Mastodon since

🔥 Top post: We need a maximum working temperature. 50,000 people have alread · 122 likes + reposts

📊 Activity & format

Posting cadence

0.39 / week

A lower-frequency account — each post lands with more weight.

Content mix

Mostly text

Recent: 11 text · 1 image · 0 video.

Follower / following

0.9×

Follows 1.6K back. A more reciprocal / networked account.

Recent posts

View on Mastodon ↗

🔥 Top post We need a maximum working temperature. 50,000 people have already signed this petition to the Health and Safety Executive (HSE). Please add your name too. https://www.megaphone.org.uk/petitions/we-need-a-maximum-working-temperature ★ 122

Alarms off. Another academic year finished: I think my 15th or 16th in teaching. I don't even have words for this one. The last few weeks: heat, football, Ofsted. I'm done. So done. #teaching #Education #edutoot #edutooters ★ 3 Boosting that to mark the end of that two day ordeal. I must say, nothing is getting done for the rest of the term - colouring and films. Sorry students. Sorry parents. ★ 1 I hate to be that person, but just imagine a school that was getting Ofsteded this week, in July, so close to the end of term, in a heatwave, after half of staff and students being up all night on Sunday. And after a Yr6 Transition Evening… ★ 6 I think my problem with being such a Swiftie (since 2008?) and a feminist - I never expected this for her. And that's so parasocial. He's not who I want for her, but he's clearly what she wants at this point in time: I hope it works for he… ★ 4 Just a massive congratulations to anyone in education - both staff and students - who got through this week in the UK. What a week. And with so, so much anti-teacher rhetoric in the media and online. We did our best. ☀️ #Teaching #Seconda… ★ 22 I'm genuinely sad about James van der Beek. Dawson's Creek is one of my favourite re-watchable, quotable, memorable shows - and he was so young, and with so many children. Urgh. ★ 4 Went to see Hamnet today. And while I don't think it's a perfect film, I was absolutely bawling my eyes out by the end. It is beautifully shot & it does make you think - and remember - those who have gone. I will try the book again now af… ★ 8 @tek This will disgust you. You're welcome 😊 ★ 2

Following the recent heated discussion re: Marmite, I saw this today. I'd seen pictures, but look, it really exists and half price no less. I wonder why that might be. Reader: I did not buy it. I wouldn't even know what to do with it. They… ★ 15 I've just got very carried away on someone else's thread (see last boost). I just love Marmite so much. I can't fathom people not enjoying it. But I know they exist. I'm just always stunned to meet them - in the wild #Marmite ★ 7 School's Out! I must confess, I don't love Christmas and find this time of year all kinds of challenging, but just the thought of two weeks of no alarms and as many mince pies and Christmas puddings as I can feasibly eat, makes me happy. I… ★ 12

🐘 Community & instance

Home server

mstdn.social

A large general-interest Mastodon server. On the fediverse the server a creator picks hints at their community — this one spans all topics.

On Mastodon since

Sep 2023

An established account with real history on the platform.

💡 Facts

🗓️Joined Mastodon in 2023 — 2 years ago.

👁️Averages 17 views per post.

📤Posts about 0.4× per week.

🛡️ Audience credibility

61/100 Fair

Est. 84% real, active audience · Low fake-follower risk.
Engagement (~1.2% of followers engage each post) is around typical for Mastodon.

Est. authentic audience

84%

Fake-follower risk

Low

Data confidence

High

Heuristic estimate from engagement, follower ratios, account age & growth — a screening signal, not a guarantee.

About

A secondary school English Teacher looking to connect with interesting, innovative people. Loves good cheese, good walks and good animals.

🔀 Audience overlap

Estimated

Estimated shared audience with similar creators — useful for avoiding overlap (or doubling down) when planning a campaign.

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Boules de Fourrure 15%

Bernie Luckily Does It 12%

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Pratik Patel ✓

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