Decolonizing Love

At its core, political anarchism isn’t about chaos or living without rules, it’s the idea that human beings can organize their lives through voluntary cooperation, mutual respect, and shared responsibility rather than top-down control. Instead of relying on bosses, politicians, or coercive laws to force order, anarchists argue that communities function best when everyone has an equal say and no single person holds authority over another. The everyday beauty of this political theory lies in how n

Romeo is a founding member of the Indigenous Anarchist Federation, and their work was one of my influences in becoming an anarchist. For a long time, I agreed with anarchist ideas but didn't feel the need to identify with the label because so much of it already existed in my own Indigenous African cultures, as it does for many Indigenous peoples: decentralized ways of organizing, autonomy, collective care, resistance to domination, and raising children with far more freedom than colonial societi

“Anarchism is primarily a movement against hierarchy. Why? Because hierarchy is the organisational structure that embodies authority. Since the state is the “highest” form of hierarchy, anarchists are, by definition, anti-state; but this is not a sufficient definition of anarchism. This means that real anarchists are opposed to all forms of hierarchical organisation, not only the state.” – Anarchist FAQ, theanarchistlibrary Some anarchists invoke Noam Chomsky’s classic test for hierarchy: author

If you meet someone who identifies as a relationship anarchist and you want to figure out whether they're full of shit or a walking red flag, one of the easiest ways is to ask them about anarchist theory and practice. Relationship anarchy is the application of anarchist theory and practice to relationships. So if they're unable to discuss even the basics of anarchist theory, there's a good chance they're practicing relationship anarchy as a lifestyle rather than as a political commitment. Quick

Relationship Anarchy was developed by Andie Nordgren, Jon Jordås, and other anarchist thinkers in Sweden, in part as a response to hierarchical polyamory. Andie intentionally wrote the Relationship Anarchy Manifesto so that anyone could apply anarchist principles to their relationships. I understand and respect that intention. At the same time, I worry that separating Relationship Anarchy from its political roots made it easier for people to adopt the label while leaving its anarchist ethics beh

"Where do I even start?" We hear it constantly. So we finally created a workshop with the answer. Most of the polyamory aspect of our work is for people already deep in it: hinges, unlearning hierarchy, all the beautiful things that show up after it gets complicated. We love that work. But everyone has to start somewhere. So this is the on-ramp. An Intro to Polyamory: from a decolonial lens. This is for you if: - you're new to polyamory - you're thinking about opening a relationship - you're p

I often get comments and DMs from people who feel overwhelmed by decolonization and do not know where to start. And I always say: start small. It is unrealistic to believe you have to undo generations of conditioning overnight while still surviving in the middle of empire. Your ancestors, your family, your body, and your society were forcibly shaped over time. So of course unlearning will also take time. Decolonization is not a one-time achievement. It is a constant practice. It is the slow adju

There are far more books on polyamory than Polysecure and The Ethical Slut alone, and I do not recommend the latter. On Goodreads, I’ve found 78 books on polyamory so far, and I’ve been making my way through all of them. I often recommend niche titles to my coaching clients so they can go deeper on specific questions, whether that’s reconciling Christianity with polyamory or navigating neurodivergence within polyamorous relationships. What’s your favourite niche polyamory book? And please, don’t

Debating the ethics of hierarchy with us is no easy feat. It requires an autopsy of the concepts people take for granted. Most people don’t realize the word "hierarchy" was a linguistic ghost before the 16th century. Its explosion into our modern psyche was a deliberate act of intellectual alchemy, largely via Louis Dumont, that reframed raw domination as a natural hierarchy. What you defend as "common sense" is actually colonial ideology wearing its latest mask. I didn’t arrive at this position

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